Colour My World
by im with the vampires3
Summary: AU Edward never came back to her because she seemed happy.keyword:seemed. she had the catatonic state and two months depression. she has people who keep her down to earth, though. the rating may change depending on how the story goes. E&B eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is set about… three years after Edward leaves Bella. He doesn't come back because she seems happy. Keyword: seems.**

**She has become a painter for a small company after learning the business. She has never loved anyone but Edward and never really got to know Jacob. She is also now afraid of commitment.**

I finished painting the wall I was working on and turned to the boys. Jason, the blonde, blue eyed man with a British accent, was one of those most women fall for in a heartbeat. Kris was tall, dark haired with kind hazel eyes and a shy smile that made up for the lack of a foreign lilt, and just as desirable to women and less full of himself. Of course, the exception to that rule was me. I felt brotherly love towards them, but nothing more.

"Are you done yet?" I demanded impatiently. I was tired and really wanted to go home.

Jason laughed. "Calm down, babe. Not much longer."

I rolled my eyes. He had been calling me 'babe' since two weeks after we had started work together.

Kris snorted, looking at Jason's half finished wall. "Please. I can see _you've_ really been doing something."

Kris shared a house with us and was a fellow painter. We had all decided that it would be much easier to just share a house rather than fend for ourselves on our small budgets after about a month.

He and I helped Jason finish his part and we left. It was six pm, but the owners of the house were still at work.

When we reached our house I went straight for the kitchen.

"What do you guys want tonight?" I asked when they followed me in.

"Whatever you're fixing, Bella," Kris said. "Unless you want me to cook…"

"You can help if you like." I pulled out chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, and some corn.

We all fixed dinner together, ate, and headed to our rooms. I grabbed my bag and headed for the bathroom.

Jason was on his way and I smirked, closing the door before he got there. There was no lock, but the boys had agreed not to come in without my permission while I was there. Kris was better about that rule than Jason, but I didn't mind so much. He was only messing around, mostly.

I showered, dressed, brushed my hair out, and brushed my teeth before relinquishing the bathroom.

Jason rolled his eyes, his sign that I was took too long, before kissing me goodnight. It was usually brotherly. He just teased me with the 'babe' stuff. It was our little joke. Although he had mentioned that he wouldn't mind if I wanted to try going out sometime. He thought it was kind of nice that I wasn't all over him at the same time, though. He was a brother figure with a sometimes dirty mind. I didn't mind though. He was a good person when it came down to it.

I went downstairs to see if Kris was still up or if he had gone to bed without a shower and found he was still there.

I sat down next to him and he smiled at me.

"Not sleepy yet?" he asked.

"Not quite," I answered.

"Come here, you," he said and held open his arms for me.

I scooted over to him and rested my head on his chest, watching television with him.

He stroked my hair gently and laughed. "You know, I never had a sister, but you turned out to be perfect for the job."

"I'm glad it worked out," I said, laughing a little myself.

He checked his watch and yawned. "I think it's time for bed. I need to kick _someone_ out of the shower before we run out of hot water."

He stood and walked me up the stairs. "We have a new job starting in two day."

I frowned. "Where?"

"554 Oak Street. It's the big mansion on the corner. The guy is a doctor or something. He's loaded, probably really old too," he said. "Anyway, just thought you would like to know." He kissed me, like Jason's kiss it was strictly brotherly.

"Night," I murmured and walked to my room. I slipped in and sat on the bed.

My room was fairly plain. It was painted a creamy white and I had only a few things to decorate it with; a small jewelry box, a bookshelf loaded with all of my books, and a dresser.

I finally fell asleep after a few minutes.

When we got to the mansion, we found a note on the door.

Evidentially the doctor had to work early in the morning until late, so we would probably not see him. He left us a key and so we went in and searched for the living room. That was the first room we were supposed to do.

First we cleared out everything into one of the empty rooms in the house.

When we finished with that we left. We ate lunch, came back and started setting out the canvas to catch any paint or dust or even drywall.

I decided to start taping and floating the wall where it needed it.

The boys were looking at the other rooms to see how much paint we would need for the job.

I was wiped out by the time I finished. I was collapsed on the floor by the time the boys came back to see how I was doing.

I had finished, but was completely worn out.

"Here, babe, I'll carry you, okay?" Jason said.

I had stood up but my legs weren't steady under me. I had used a ladder, but that didn't mean I didn't stretch everything in my body to do the work.

"Fine," I muttered.

He picked me up and carried me out the door, careful not to bump me into anything.

"You should have waited for us," he said.

I glared at him and Kris chuckled.

"He has a point, Bella."

"Whatever," I muttered and laid my head on Jason's shoulder. "At least I got the first coat of mud on."

Jason set me down in the passenger's seat and Kris got in the back of the van. Jason ran around to the driver's side and drove us home.

"The doctor guy, um, Dr. Masen, is coming by later to discuss how his sister wants each room done. She's picky, I guess," Kris said as we walked into the house.

"Well, when is he coming?" I asked.

"I think around five. He's getting off early today," he answered, going through the refrigerator. "So, would you like me to cook some steaks for an early dinner?"

"If you like," I said.

He grinned. He liked to cook and I enjoyed helping.

Jason pulled out the steaks and started cutting up onions to sauté.

We each ate our steaks and then took turns taking showers before sitting down to watch television.

The doctor didn't come by six and so we decided to change for bed.

"Jason, can I borrow a shirt? All of my nightclothes are in the laundry," I said, entering his room.

He nodded and pulled out a dark blue button-up shirt.

"You can use this one. It's clean."

I took it gratefully and changed in my room. I joined the boys downstairs again and decided that I wanted a snack. I went to the kitchen and pulled out a package of Oreos and poured a glass of milk.

When I got back the boys were already asleep on the couch. I giggled and poked them each.

"If you're going to sleep, go to bed," I told them.

Jason shrugged and stole a cookie from me. "I'll stay up until you go to bed, Bella."

"And I'll supervise," Kris said, taking one of the cookies too.

I sipped at my milk and ate a cookie. "So, I guess he won't be here?"

"Guess not," Kris muttered. "Must have had an emergency."

"I guess so," I agreed. "Poor guy." I stood and turned to them. "I'm going to bed. Night."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jason tugged on my wrist and stood. "Goodnight, Bella," he said and kissed me.

"Night, Jason."

Kris kissed me too and then I ran up the stair, only tripping once.

The phone rang and I grabbed the one on my bedside table.

"Carver Painting Company." I said automatically into the receiver. My voice was slightly deepened from how sleepy I was.

"Is this Kristopher or Jason?" a male voice asked.

"Um, just a minute, let me get one of them…"

I took the wireless phone downstairs and handed it to Kris. "Here, I think it might be the doctor person."

"You make it sound like a pet preference," Jason whispered.

I grinned. "Maybe it is."

Kris said an occasional 'um-hum' or 'yes I think we can handle that' every once in a while before smiling. "Thank you for calling, Dr. Mason."

He paused. "Okay. We'll see you in the morning." He pressed the end call button and handed me the phone back. "He's going to be home tomorrow for a while so that he can pick textures and designs."

"In other words, my turn to pay attention," I said.

"Exactly. Be nice, but not too nice. We wouldn't want to have to hurt him for overstepping boundaries," Jason said.

Kris nodded. "We've lost two jobs because people thought you were leading them on and then turned them down after they asked you out."

"That's not my fault."

"Maybe not, but it still happens."

"Sorry."

"Go to bed," Kris ordered. "Unless you want me to carry you up there."

I laughed and walked around the couch to leave the room and managed to trip over thin air.

Kris sighed and stood. "That's it. I'm carrying you anyway."

He picked me up and took me to my room.

"I trust you can sleep without hurting yourself?"

"I think so," I said.

"Good. Go to sleep."

And with that he turned off the light and closed the door on his way out.

I woke up with a fever in the morning and the boys wouldn't let me come to work.

Jason took care of the designs and texture stuff, making notes for me. I was feeling better and running a normal temperature by the afternoon. I drove over to the mansion and hurried inside.

"Did anyone put on another layer of mud this morning?" I asked.

Jason and Kris exchanged a look and shook their heads no.

I moaned and picked up the bucket and got on a ladder. I worked around the room until I finished.

I tugged at the baggy shirt I wore.

"We should be able to paint tomorrow afternoon if we get a coat on early. Of course that depends on how fast we can get the ceiling scraped down," I said. "What color are we going to paint this room?"

"I think he said maroon with white stripes. And these flowers," Kris showed me a design. "He didn't seem happy about the choice, but his sister was thrilled about it."

Jason grinned. "She was hot."

"I agree," Kris said, blushing. "She was."

I frowned. "You two can discuss that later when I don't have to listen."

"Fair enough, only you might not like that when we won't let you tell us how perfect the doctor is. He isn't old at all. In fact, he just started work here. He's only in his early twenties, maybe," Jason said.

"Since when have I cared about what a guy looks like?" I asked.

"Babe, you love me, don't you?" Jason asked.

"You're my brother…sort of."

"Not when you need to be rescued."

"Those are emergencies."

"Will you two cut it out?" Kris asked.

"Fine," we said at the same time.

"Let's get out of here. It's getting late and the doc will be home any minute. I don't need to see this one break his heart," he said, jutting his thumb at me.

"Grrr."

He kissed my forehead. "You know I'm just playing."

"Grrr."

He laughed. "Come on, it's time to go. You don't even have to talk to me."

"Fine."

When we were all loaded into the van, a silver Volvo started to pull into the driveway.

I felt my heart wrench. Edward used to drive one of those.

We left before I could see the doctor.

And then the rain started. I cursed the weather that was so like Forks'.

We ran by the post office and checked out mail. Bills. Ick.

I took care of sorting our bills and placing the checks from each of us in the return envelopes. Along with balancing my checkbook and checking that they had each done a sufficient job with their own.

By the time I was done, it was bedtime again. I kissed the boys goodnight and went up to shower, and then to bed.

**Soooooooooo………do you like it? I might cry if you don't like it, but it wont stop me from writing.**


	2. AN!

**I won't be on until sometime after this coming week. I'm going to band camp...woohoo! PERCUSSION ROCKS!**

**anyway, i'll probaly have chapters written for all of my unfinished works written...including this one. I think i'll like doing this.**

**Lots of love**

** Meg :)**


	3. Chapter 2

**BPOV. Of course.**

"Bella? BABE! Wake up, for God's sake. We're going to be late!" Jason said at my doorway.

I sat up groggily.

"Babe, hurry up, okay? The boss man, aka: the doctor, wants to see us. This morning. He called just now."

"'kay," I muttered and got up. "Could you hand me those pants?"

He tossed them to me and I pulled them on.

"I'm using this shirt, okay?" I said.

"Fine, that's fine. You might want a bra, though…" he muttered teasingly and tossed me one off of the doorknob.

"Thanks."

I put it on without removing the shirt and Jason laughed.

"You're really good at that trick."

"I have to be with you in the house."

"Maybe it would be better if you used something that didn't make it look quite so much like you slept with me?" He tossed me an extra shirt he had on his arm. "That should work. Same shirt, less wrinkles."

"Thank you, Jason."

I pulled it on, buttoned it, and took off the other shirt from under it.

I pulled on some boots, cowboy boots, and put my hair up and shoved it under my baseball cap.

"Don't you ever wear make-up?" Jason asked.

"No. Do I need it?" I asked, self-consciously.

"Not you, babe. You're perfect just the way you are. Of course, you look like a boy," he said. "What with your hair up under that hat and all."

"That hurt," I said.

"Would a kiss make it better?"

"Nice try, brother."

"I was only kidding. On both things."

"It's okay."

"Come on, guys!" Kris called up.

I hurried to the door, grabbed Jason's arm, and tripped.

He laughed and helped me stay upright.

"Come on, babe, you have to stop doing that," he said and walked me down the stairs.

"It's harder to stop than you think. I mean, this is a lifetime of habit we're talking about here."

We got to the mansion in record timing. When we got there I saw the shiny Volvo again. I took a deep breath and smiled at a concerned looking Kris as we walked to the door.

Kris looked over at me. "You smell like paint remover."

"It's the shirt," I said.

"Oh."

Jason knocked on the door and we waited. Eventually it opened to show a tall, green eyed, brunette man standing there. His skin was light in the hazy morning light, which was muddled by clouds, and he had shadows beneath his eyes that looked like he was recovering from a broken nose, but he wasn't because his nose was perfect.

I stood to the side, letting Jason or Kris do the talking. He looked familiar, but it was off and I wasn't sure I wanted to remember.

He smiled. "Good morning. My sister wanted to speak with you about how she wants the other rooms painted."

Jason had a happy gleam in his eyes. As did Kris, but not as noticeable.

I just crossed my arms and watched them in amusement.

Dr. Mason looked over at me and smiled, although something in his eyes told me he was confused.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you there."

"That's fine," I said. "I don't mind."

He smiled and turned back to the boys. "She won't like waiting for you, so you should probably head on into the dining room."

Jason frowned and felt over his shirt and jean pockets, looking for something. "Babe, I left my calculator and pens and notebook at home. Could you run and get them so that we can make notes?"

"Sure," I said and barely caught the keys he tossed at me. "Be back in a minute."

"See you then," he said and the two walked into the house.

The doctor, however, remained. "Mind if I join you?"

I tried to look like I wasn't surprised, and failed. "I would rather you didn't. No offence or anything, but I really would prefer going alone." The boys would either kill me or have a ball with the fact that I brought home this guy. No matter how innocent the trip actually was.

"Okay, see you soon, then. I just thought you might have liked some company," he murmured, taken by surprise. "Sorry if I sound like I'm coming onto you."

I grinned. "That's okay. It happens." _A lot._

Kris ran out of the house and took my arm. "Come on, come on. You have things to get and we can't wait long for them. Go on."

Doctor Mason had an amused expression on his face as Kris did that.

And so I left. And got the stuff. And came back._ After_ both the doctor and his sister left.

I glared at the boys. "I went over to the house to get everything you needed and you don't need it anymore?"

"Uh…y-yes. You see, she-she had paper and a pencil and a calculator, so we used that stuff in-instead," Jason stuttered.

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You," I said. "I'm going to kill you. I suggest you run."

I came at him and hit every inch I could reach, avoiding his sensitive places. I didn't want to cause him any permanent damage.

"Ow. OW! _OW!_ Stop that, already. I get it! I'm sorry!" He yelped.

I didn't bother with Kris. He was not the one who had left stuff at home.

"Go home. I'll work. Just go home," I said. "I don't want to put up with this. You didn't even bother calling me so that I wouldn't go all the way back home for nothing."

"No, Bella, we're staying. We aren't going to let you work your butt off just because we didn't make a call. And plus you might hurt yourself," Kris said.

"You know what? You're absolutely right," I said sweetly. "Kris, you go home. Relax. Enjoy a day off…Jason, _you_ stay with me and work."

How was that for reasonable?

"O…kay." Kris looked slightly puzzled as I shoved him out the door.

"We'll call when we're done and you can pick us up, okay?" I asked.

"Sure. Uh…I'll see you then, I guess." He drove off and I went back in to see a shocked looking Jason.

"Don't you love me anymore?" he asked dramatically. "Where has the love gone? Where?" He dropped to his knees and I knew he was joking.

But he's my idiot.

"Of course I love you. I just don't want you to forget about me, your sister, when you're around pretty women." I walked over and hugged him. He was enjoying his position a little more than he should have been and I glared at him. "Brother/sister basis. Remember that."

He sighed and got up. "Fine. Sorry."

I, of course, was joking a little with him. He was one of two men I loved outside of my family. I was fine with it if he liked me a little more than little sister, but I didn't want anything to be between us. It would be too hard. I didn't want to go through what had happened again. Even if it was on a smaller scale.

Of course, I hadn't had an actual relationship since Edward. It was just too crazy. Why bother if you already know who you need?

But then it wasn't like I could get him back. Why not? Because I love him. Still. A few dates here and there just to keep myself from going nuts was fine. But long-term? I don't think so.

Jason understood that. He had been trying to get me to share more than that with him. He wanted me to be in a relationship, but he understood that that wasn't possible for me. Not now, not ever.

He and I had our moments where it got a little awkward or sometimes I would feel something toward him, but that only ever got to a kiss, maybe.

Kris was another story altogether. He really was like a true brother. No other affections between us.

I looked up at Jason, who was watching me as I thought, and smiled. He still had his arms around me and so I leaned my head on his chest. "Don't forget about me again. It hurts."

"I won't. But do me a favor, will you?" Jason asked, quietly. He sounded nervous.

"What?"

"Go out with me tonight. It has been a month. I get a date. You know the rules," he said.

He had a point. Once a month he was allowed to take me out. That was the rule and I couldn't change it now. It was practically set in stone.

"Fine."

"No limits."

"Okay. Except-"

He cut me off, holding up his hand. "This, as always, does not mean I expect you to go to bed with me. I never do. Just come out and have some fun for once."

I started to protest the fact that I did have fun, but he stopped me once more.

"No, Bella. I see that look you always get when you see the couples walking down the street or in the park or anywhere. Don't tell me that. You hide it well, but it is there."

"Okay," I whispered, looking up at him.

"But it does mean that I have permission to do this," he kissed me, "as many times as I wish today."

* * *

I decided I may as well enjoy myself as he kissed me again and kissed him in a way no sister would kiss her brother.

I walked down the stairs to find Kris and Jason waiting at the bottom. I did a twirl that was part of the dating ritual I had to go through and showed off my black dress and the flaring skirt it had. Strapless and tight up top and loose on the bottom. And no heals. Those would have been a disaster and the boys knew it. That's why they didn't choose them.

The boys didn't trust me to go shopping by myself, so they did it for me, whether I liked it or not. Surprisingly it was usually decent.

Jason took my waist and brought me up against him, resting his chin on top of my head.

Kris stepped up and pried me from his grasp. "Back off of my sister. You know I made some rules of my own." Kris took his roll of older brother very seriously.

So did Jason. He was my brother first, date second. If that makes any sense…

"Have some fun, Bella," Kris said. "It won't kill you."

Was I really that easy to read?

Jason grabbed my arm. "Now come. We have reservations."

"Kris, you'll be okay for dinner?" I asked over my shoulder.

"I usually am," he said. "See you later."

And Jason herded me out the door before I could even think about backing out.

**I'm in the process of working on her date. I've already written something about when Edward realized who she is. And don't get mad at me for giving stuff away. You knew it would happen if you read the summary. Hope you like it so far!**

**Oh, and before anyone asks again (no offence to you. It was a good question that I would have asked myself) neither realizes it's the other yet because of various things. I've hinted at most. And Bella chooses not to take notice of his last name because she's blocking out everything Edward right now.**

**Anyway, before I make the note bigger than the story, I bid thee good day.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Jason POV. I thought this might be fun to do so I did it. Not funny, but fun.**

I always get my way. Sort of, anyway.

Okay, I try. But with Bella it's different. I feel like I need to help her with something, but she won't let me in. Most of the time, anyway. Sometimes I stay up and wonder what happened to her to make her hide inside herself. Or better, _who_ happened to her. That had to be it. I had never seen a relationship of hers last longer than two weeks. Three dates at the most.

She and I had this deal that I could take her out once a month. It wasn't so much me wanting her to fall for me as wanting her to feel free of whatever it was. To break her fear of whatever had happened to make her this way about relationships. She's my friend. A sister at times. I feel like she needs me to protect her from something, but I'm not quite sure what. Kris feels the same way.

I walked around the front of the car to open her door for her and she smiled.

How could anyone hurt someone so sweet?

Ah, well I'll have to ponder that little thought later. I have a date to handle now.

"Come on, Bella," I said as she took my hand and allowed me to help her out. "It's going to be fun. Relax. You're with me." She raised an eyebrow. "I'm being good. Trust me."

"Alright," she murmured, taking my offered arm. She glanced around us and frowned. "Uh, are you sure we're in the right place?"

I looked around at the trees and flowers and lush grass. "Yes. I'm positive."

"Where are we eating?"

"Right about there," I said, pointing at a flat area under a large oak.

"Uh, _what_ are we eating?"

I laughed. "Just wait." I opened the back door of my car and pulled out two picnic baskets and a large quilt. I shut the door and she took my arm again.

I led her to the place I had pointed out and spread the quilt.

"Nice," she murmured under her breath, looking around. She sounded surprised.

"What?" I asked. "You don't think I can come up with romantic enough things and then all of a sudden 'nice'. You like it, admit it."

"I like it," she said.

I lifted the top of one of the picnic baskets up and took out the plates, napkins, and two wine glasses.

I couldn't help but laugh when I looked up to see her watching me. She really was impressed with me. Good. I've learned something about women then.

I pulled out the wine and removed the cork. I poured each of us a glass of red wine and set the bottle aside. I brought out the salads I had prepared and set one in front of Bella and one in front of myself. Then I pulled out the vinaigrette that I had made. She just stared at me.

I laughed. I probably needed to cook more. I drizzled some on each salad and handed her a fork.

She took a cautious bite and looked pleased.

"You're cooking tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes at her. She wasn't even at the best part yet.

We ate in silence and then she shivered. I pulled off my jacket and slung it over her shoulders.

"Thanks," she murmured, pulling it tighter around herself.

I was glad I had worn a long sleeved dress shirt. I might have gotten a little cold otherwise. It was cool out tonight.

I pulled the perfect, medium steaks out of the bottom of the second basket and set one in front of her. They were still warm, too.

Bella cut into hers took a bite.

"Mmmm."

I smiled at her approval and ate mine too.

"More wine?" I asked when I saw her glass was empty, along with my own.

"Oh…kay," she said hesitantly.

I chuckled. "Do you want me to water it down?"

"No," she said, scowling.

"Alright," I said and took her glass, filling it.

I did the same with my own and sipped at it. It was very good. It was sweet, but it had a tangy twist to it. Some sort of berry combination.

"I'll give you dessert for a kiss," I whispered in her ear.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

"Fine, no dessert," I told her.

She pouted. "Fine, I'll kiss you."

She got up on her knees and kissed me.

"Can I have dessert now?" she asked.

I kissed her again just for the shear hell of it and then pulled out the chocolate mousse I had made. It had taken a lot to keep Kris out of it. And myself.

"Whoa," Bella whispered. "It looks beautiful. Are you sure we should eat it?"

"It would be a waste of chocolate if we didn't."

"Good point," she said and took some onto her finger. She put it in her mouth and closed her eyes. "I'm going to kill you. You cook better than I do. Almost like…" She bit the inside of her lip and sat back down, opening her eyes. "Like Edward." A single tear fell down her cheek and I felt a squeeze around my heart.

It _was_ a man who did this to her.

Did I bring the memories back?

I pulled Bella into my arms and sat her on my lap, holding her tightly. This 'Edward' didn't deserve her for even the short time he had her to himself. The bastard did something to this sweet angel and it left its mark on her innocent heart.

"What did he do?" I whispered against her hair.

"He…left me. He didn't want me anymore. I-I wasn't good enough for him," she told me softly. Her entire body shook when she took a breath. Her arms were wrapped protectively around her petite body. "But I'm still in love with him." She turned into my shoulder. "He never came back. Just like he promised." I put my arms around her and smoothed her hair.

He decided he didn't love her anymore? Strung her along and then decided she wasn't good enough? That idiotic son of a _bitch_. You don't _do_ that. Not to Bella! She's not like anyone else. She chose to love him and she's still keeping her mind made up!

_She still loves him._

I pulled her as close as possible and shuddered.

"He thought it was for my own good," she whispered. "He said it was in my nature to forget about him. To move on. As if that will ever be possible. He said he was dangerous to me," She punched my shoulder in frustration and pain. "And I can't be mad at him. It's all my fault. I knew that he couldn't possibly love me. I was so plain -I still am- and he was…beautiful. Perfect in every way. His sister was my best friend. She never said goodbye. Neither did his older brother, someone I thought of as my own brother. They all moved on without me," her voice cracked on the last words.

He pushed her into a black hole.

But _why?_

It probably should have been a clean break for anyone _else_, but not Bella. Not if she has her mind made up.

"How was he dangerous?" I asked.

"I can't tell you why," she said. "I don't know."

Something told me she did. But he was good somehow, I decided. He had to be to have gotten to her.

Her heart was ripped into shreds. I could only imagine the pain she went through.

"But I can't tell you how much you and Kris have helped me," she said, sniffling. "I might not be able to fall in love again, but at least I have both of you for now."

_For now?_

"What do you mean 'for now'?" I asked.

"Well, eventually you will find someone who you love and want to marry. I don't want to be in your way when that happens."

"Bella, you will never _ever_ be in the way." I tipped her face up so that I could look her in the eye. "You might be a little troublesome on occasion, but it's just because you're with us. Face it, we're both bad influences." I winked at her and grinned. "What would you do without us?"

"I don't think I would have made it any farther without you, to tell you the truth," she said, drying her tears.

"I'm going to make you a promise, Bella," I said seriously.

She waited for me to speak.

"You will fall in love again. It _is_ possible. You just have to give someone the chance to make it happen," I told her. "Just _try_. You may not reach the intensity that you once had, but it will be good. Kris and I will watch out for you, but you need to give someone a fair chance. No more of this anti-commitment attitude. You're a beautiful person. You _are_ going to find the right person." She opened her mouth to object. "No, Bella. If he _is_ right for you, he will come back to you. Somehow fate will bring you together again if that's it." And I believed that. It was true.

Somehow I could not find the heart to be too angry with him. She cared about him, and in turn I did too. She had said that he thought himself dangerous. Maybe he does love her and he just wanted to keep her from looking for him. I would have done the same if I thought I was dangerous to a woman if I loved her as Bella loves this Edward person. And that kind of love just doesn't go unreturned.

Yes, somehow this would work out in Bella's favor. Her heart will mend.

I stood, pulling her up with me. "Shall we go home now?" I asked.

She, now in better spirits-I had learned how to read her whether she wanted me to be able to or not-, smiled. "Thanks, Jason."

"Anytime, babe," I told her. It was habit to call her babe most of the time now. "And don't worry. Kris and I have your back."

**Alright. I know this chapter wasn't so funny, but this story is a serious sort of story. It does have a lot of humor if you know where to look, though.**

**Thanks for staying with me, those of you who have so far. I promise this is going to get a lot better.**

**And I was right! It was fun to write as Jason! I really hope this helps you understand his character better.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am sooooo sorry that it takes me so long to update, but I have limited access to computers lately and school just started so bear with me, alright?**

**To show how much I love you, I'll give you something to think about. Now you get to tell me what you think the answer is, and yes I do know **_**exactly**_** what it is. I'm not an idiot.…**

**If one train is going fifty mph and another train moving the opposite direction is going seventy-four mph, how long will it take for them to collide if they both start at the same point?**

…**That's all I got. Oh, wait, no it's not. I came up with the soundtrack (not in order) and the person each song goes with (either B for Bella, or E for Edward) for this story. here it is...**

**The Scientist, Coldplay- E**

**Haunted, Evanescence- B**

**I'm Not Over, Carolina Liar- E**

**Ugly, The Exies- E**

**Colour My World, Chicago- B&E**

**Crawling, Linkin Park- B**

**I Told You So, Keith Urban (I don't typically like this guy, but the song works, so, whatever)- B**

**Little Things, Lily Allen- B**

**Viva la Vida, Coldplay- E**

**where'd You Go, Fort Minor(It's sort of related)- B**

**Circles, Hollywood Undead- E**

**I Wish You Were Here, Incubus- B&E**

**Open Your Eyes, Your Favorite Enemies- B**

**I Will Possess Your Heart, Death Cab For Cutie- B or E(whichever one you percieve is the one who needs this one)**

**BPOV**

We made it to the Masen mansion early and Dr. Masen answered the door when we knocked. We had permission to go on in, but we didn't want to be rude.

"'Morning," Kris said.

"Good morning," Dr. Masen said in return. "Come in, please."

He and Kris walked in front of Jason and me and we looked at each other. Jason smiled at me and laughed when I stuck out my tongue childishly. We had chosen to not speak of last night except for the dates that he was going to make me go on whether I want to or not.

"I hope you don't mind, but my sister wants to go over the details for the living room and her bedroom again," Dr. Masen said. "And _I_ need to discuss some of the other rooms with one of you."

Jason looked at me imploringly. "Do you think you can handle that?"

I smiled. "Sure."

"My sister is in the dining room," Dr. Masen said. "She won't want to be kept waiting."

"See you in a while," Jason said before he and Kris walked off.

Dr. Masen looked at me, a strange look in his eyes, but it was gone before I could figure out what it was.

"This way," he said. "We don't have long before I need to leave for work."

I followed him down the hallway until we reached a large room.

"Have a seat if you like," Dr. Masen said, motioning to the bed.

I sat without arguing with him. I had learned it was easier if you just went along with whatever the customer asked so that they were comfortable. Unless it was something that went against your morals, anyway.

"The basic idea for this room is similar to the living room. She wants it painted dark blue, though," he began, glancing around the room.

"Okay," I said, taking a note in the spiral notebook I held.

"And she wants…she wants flowers to be painted in white along the walls at five inch intervals in different areas."

I wrote it down in the small booklet I kept for my notes and looked up at him.

"What type?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"The flowers. What kind does she want us to paint?" I asked again.

He stared at a dark corner, eyes distant. "Freesias."

I made a strangled noise that made his head turn in my direction.

"Are you alright?" he asked me.

_No. I will never be _alright, I thought. "Yes. I'm fine, thank you. Just something caught in my throat."

"Ah," he murmured. He didn't sound like he could believe that, but not like he didn't either, which made me feel bad.

I stared at the floor. "That was a lie."

"What?" he asked.

"What I said. I lied. I'm not fine," I muttered. Why I did this to myself, I don't know, but talking to this complete stranger was easier than with Jason or Kris.

"And why is that?" he asked.

This would sound stupid.

"My ex-boyfriend," I said, keeping my eyes on the floor.

"Oh," he said. "What did he do?"

"He…left."

"How long ago?"

I laughed once without humor. "Care to guess?"

"A month? Two?" he asked, staring at the corner again.

"Wrong. Three years ago." I studied his face for a reaction. He didn't react.

"What did he do?" he asked. His jaw was clenched, as if he was waiting for some invisible fist to knock into him, although I couldn't figure out why.

"He left me," what was with me? Suddenly I was telling the world what was wrong with me and I didn't know why. "He never wanted me. I knew it, I think, it's just…I always wonder what I did wrong. I guess I loved him too much and he didn't want it to go on, but when he left, he took my heart with him. I don't think it's ever coming back again. He doesn't even know it. He thought I would forget, but it's not like you can just 'forget' that you were in love with someone. The way it was, my love for him was irreversible. He might not want it, but he still has it. Funny, though. I don't want my heart back. I want him to have it even if the love it holds for him isn't returned." I didn't know, but I was in tears through most of my speech and as it continued, they just got worse. I laughed. "If only he could see me now. I'm a mess. He probably wouldn't even care."

I wiped the tears off of my face quickly and sniffled once. It took a few seconds before I looked back up at him, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

He nodded slowly, but not in agreement. "It's fine. I can understand how that might be…frustrating."

I smiled ruefully. "I'm sure you don't want me doing your paining job now, don't you?"

"Of course, I do," he said. "I don't judge people by their pasts."

_Of course, you don't,_ I thought.

His smooth face showed me no emotion.

"Anything else?" I asked in reference to the room.

"Not in here," he said. "Um, I'm afraid I didn't get your name."

"Bella Swan," I said.

He stood, but looked like he hadn't meant to, but covered up whatever it was that had bothered him. "Ms. Swan, I'm afraid, I need to get off to work, but maybe we could discuss the rooms later? Perhaps over dinner?"

"Okay," I said slowly.

"Then, I will see you at seven, Ms. Swan," he said.

"Call me Bella," I said. "Please."

"Then, I insist you refer to me as Edward, Bella," he said softly.

I shrunk back into my chair. "I…can't do that."

His brow furrowed in what I took as confusion. "Why is that?"

"Never mind," I said, glaring at the wall for a second before looking back at him without any fear of flinching again. "I'll see you later, then…Edward."

**HA! Another chapter done! Let me try for another, and pray I get it done soon so that I can post it. I've been working on another karaoke section for my story **_**Karaoke Night at the Cullens'**_** and I have a very special dedication in one of the chapters I'm doing for it. You have to read it…please?**


	6. AN

**I am sooooooo happy. I finally got something posted! Took me long enough.**

**If you want me to post faster, let me know, guys, because I like getting your feedback.**

**I want you all to know that, if you keep up with any of my other stories, I'm working on**

**getting up more chapters on my _Karaoke Night at the Cullens'_ story. It is going to have a special uh...cough, cough,**

**thank you for someone who likes to make fun of me for an unfortunate event that happened during a band trip.**

**also I'm doing more chapters on _Just a Few Things That Go Bump in the Night_ story. It's a lot of fun,**

**but if you have suggestions for any of my stories or just plain want me to hurry up,**

**let me know, okay?**

**Lots of love,**

**Meg**

**PS: and by the way, guys, if you haven't checked out my other stories, especially Aliens and Newtons, do it.**

**It's got to be one of the randomest stories i've written.**

**Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

**BPOV I thought it would be fun for you to see how the boys are. **

I talked the boys into going home a little early. It was a first. Usually I was the one who wanted to stay and work until it was really time to go.

"Bella," Kris said. "What is it? You look like you want to scream."

I snorted. "You have no idea." I hadn't stopped pacing since Dr. Masen, or I guess his name is Edward to me now, had left.

"If she wants to leave, I guess we can," Jason said. He was already cleaning up the equipment. Not that there was that much to do yet. "One question, though, Bella. What's your rush?"

"I…I have a…I sort of have a date," I said, struggling with every word.

"You-you do?" Jason asked. He mulled this over for a moment. "Wow. I didn't think I had convinced you."

"Well, not so much…_you,_ per say. More like not getting done with instructions," I told him.

"Ah, so it's with the doctor," he said, wagering his eyebrows.

"Shut-up," I said.

"Fine," he said, getting up. "Okay, let's go."

And so we headed out the door and down to our van. We were at our house faster than I really wanted to be.

"Should we help you with your outfit?" Jason asked with a single eyebrow raised up inquisitively.

"Uh…"

"I'll take that as a yes," he said. "If we ever get married, our wives are going to question whether we're actually straight or not."

I snorted. "If they were in your heads, they might not."

Jason grinned and they both escorted me up the stairs.

"Black," Kris said. "We should put her in black."

"No, no. You know how well blues compliment her skin," Jason reminded him.

It was like I wasn't even there. Well, sort of.

"Good point," Kris said. "And silver?"

"Yes, silver," Jason agreed. "Heels, too."

"Heels?!" I said squeakily.

"He'll protect you from yourself," Kris said teasingly. "He's a gentleman."

"Shut. Up," I said. I sat down on my bed since we had entered the room already. "It is now…" I checked my watch, "five forty-four. You have an hour and sixteen minutes to make me look the way you want me to look."

Jason shrugged at Kris. "She makes a good point. Let's get started."

They went straight for my closet and rummaged through all of the dresses they had insisted I have. They were all presents of some sort.

The one they brought out was midnight blue with thin, silver embroidery on the waist. It was full length and the heels they chose matched the silver of the embroidery. Evidentially, the sister of Dr. Masen had called towards the middle of their bickering over what to put me in and told them that the attire was semi-formal, which narrowed it down. The dress had an extremely low neck that exposed the very tops of my small breasts. I had commented that it was semi-formal, not formal to them. I wasn't sure if I liked the thought of being so exposed in front of a stranger.

But if the boy's thought it was okay…I guess I would just have to deal with it.

I did my own make-up, because although the boys were wonderful with clothes, they refused to even attempt putting make-up on me. They let me wear my hair down because the doctor had never seen me with my hair down. Or with hair at all, really. I was always wearing a cap, so it looked like I had my hair cut like a boy's.

There was a knock on the door at exactly seven-oh-clock, which the boys insisted on answering while I stood just behind them.

He stared straight at me when the door opened. I didn't say anything, though. I was busy looking at his choice of clothing. He had on all black. Black slacks, black button up shirt, black leather jacket. It all contrasted with his light skin and green eyes.

The boys looked like Christmas had come early when they saw my reaction was somewhat positive. And the doctor's reaction must have helped a little, too.

"A word?" Jason asked him.

"Of course," the doctor said and Jason took him aside for a moment.

I saw Dr. Masen smile twice during the time that Jason was speaking and knew it had to do with my ability to trip over nothing and finding danger in any place.

"Just make sure you have her back by at least one," Jason said as they walked back. "She gets irritable when she stays up too much later than that."

I let him have his fun. This was probably just going to be a one-time thing.

Jason and Kris watched as I stepped carefully onto the first step. I tried to do the same with the second one, but it didn't work out and I ended up against Dr. Masen's chest instead of just landing on the ground, which would have been better, to me. He helped me gain my balance again and I kept hold of his arm. I was desperate not to let that happen again. The falling, I mean.

"We'd better go," Dr. Masen said.

"Um, bye, boys, see you later," I said and allowed him to lead me away.

He opened my door and helped me in, adjusting my dress so that it wouldn't get caught in the door when he closed it. Then he walked around to the driver's side and got in himself.

"I don't mean to be rude, but…where are we going?" I asked, waving goodbye to the devilishly grinning boys before turning back to him.

"I have reservations at a place just a few blocks from here," he said.

I had a feeling I knew where he was talking about and I knew it was over my budget. But something told me he would insist on paying for it. That would be the only reason for getting a reservation.

I just nodded and looked out the window again.

He looked like he wanted to say something at times, but never did. I wondered what it could have been. Probably some detail he needed to remember about one of the rooms.

We got to the restaurant and I reached for the car door. Dr. Masen looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

"What?" I asked, confused by his reaction.

"You should let me get that for you," he murmured.

"Oh," I said, unable to come up with another word.

I waited for him to walk around the Volvo to my side patiently. He opened the door and helped me out carefully, then led me to the entrance of the restaurant.

He held that door open for me and then offered his arm to help with my stability. From the way he kept glancing at me with his lips twitching slightly, I knew Jason had told him all about that little bit of information.

The receptionist looked up and smiled at Dr. Masen prettily.

"I have a reservation for two under Edward Masen," Dr. Masen said to her.

She scanned through the reservation book and nodded. "Right this way, please."

We followed her to a candle lit corner table. She gave us each a menu and smiled at Dr. Masen again. "Your waiter will be here shortly."

"Thank you," Dr. Masen said.

She walked off, glancing back only once.

He scanned through his menu and set it down after a moment.

"So…" he said, not sure what to say. "Where are you from?"

"Phoenix, Arizona," I said. "I guess mostly Forks, Washington, though."

"Forks?" he asked.

"It's a really small town," I said. "It rains too much and it's always cloudy."

"Sounds like the weather here," he observed.

"Pretty much," I agreed. "Where are you from?"

"Alaska," he answered.

"Oh," I said. "Did you like it there?"

"I used to," he said.

"What changed your mind?" I asked.

"It…reminded me of an event in my life that I didn't want to think about," he said, carefully choosing his words.

He smiled sadly and stared at the candle's flame. He laughed once without humor.

"Of course, that didn't stop my memories."

"I can understand that," I said, playing with the tip of the flame.

He watched for a moment, frowning. Finally he looked me in the eye. "Could you please not do that? I would really rather you didn't burn yourself."

"I don't burn so easily anymore," I replied sardonically, but removing my hand anyway. "I've had worse burns than the physical type."

He looked down at the table. "I'm sorry about that."

"It wasn't your fault," I said. "You weren't even involved. Don't apologize."

"I wish there were something I could do," he said. "I can understand that sort of pain better than you might think."

His voice was so sincere that I couldn't help but feel bad. I didn't seem to be the only one with emotional issues here.

I reached across the table and he drew away from me, still looking away.

It was probably better if I didn't try to comfort him. He didn't look like he wanted or needed it. But then that had been how I used to be before I spoke to Jason. And Dr. Masen himself.

Dr.-" I stopped. It just felt wrong calling him Dr. Masen right now. That's not to say it wasn't still hard not to. "…Edward."

He sighed and looked up at me. "Yes?"

"I…" I took a breath, organizing my wording. "It feels a little better after you've talked about it. In my case, not much, but I think you get my point."

He shook his head. "No. I…can't talk about it."

"Talk to your sister about it," I insisted. "Don't you think she'd let you?"

"Listen…," he ran his hand through his hair. "Bella, I…" He looked up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back down at me. "I don't think I should. She won't want to hear it. She won't like it."

"Why's that?" I asked before I could stop myself.

He looked me in the eyes. "I'd rather not say."

"Oh."

The waiter came soon after that. He smiled at me. "Hello, my name is Sam and I will be your waiter tonight. Would you like something to drink?"

I glanced over the menu at the drinks. Nothing interested me.

"Um, I think I'll just have water, thank you," I said, looking back up at him.

He jotted it down and looked at Dr. Masen expectantly, but unhappily. "And you?"

"The same," he answered.

The waiter left to get the drinks and Dr. Masen sighed.

"Would you excuse me a moment?" he asked.

"Oh, sure," I said.

He stood and made his way to the restrooms.

When the waiter came back, he was still gone.

"Well, ma'am," Sam said. "I know that this might sound rude, but…you're extremely pretty and you seem like a nice person. Is there any chance that you would be interested in ditching your date?"

_Holy crap._

"No," I said.

"He's your boyfriend, isn't he?" Sam asked.

Stupid, idiotic pretty boy.

"No," I replied.

"Then-."

"It's a business date," I said. "And the answer is still _no_."

He raised an eyebrow. "_Why?_"

"I'm engaged," I said, looking him in the eye.

"Where's your ring?" he asked.

"It's being sized," I said.

"Where is your fiancée?"

"At home." I was getting fed up.

"Call him."

I pulled my cell phone from my purse and hit number three for Jason.

"Hey, babe," Jason said.

"Hi, Jason," I said flirtatiously. "I need you to talk to someone really quick. Is that okay?"

"Is someone hitting on you?" Jason asked, laughing a little.

"Maybe," I said teasingly. "But really, could you?"

"Sure, babe."

I handed the phone to Sam and he smirked.

"Hello, _Jason_," he said. "So, what are you doing for the honeymoon?" He thought he was being clever asking something like that.

His face registered shock and then his eyes widened as Jason gave him details. "Oh."

He handed the phone back to me. "Sorry about what I said," he said.

"Jason, what did you tell him?" I asked.

"Oh, the works," he said, he laughed. "I was a bit more creative this time."

"Mmm," I murmured.

Dr. Masen was approaching behind the still stunned Sam.

"I need to go now," I said softly. "Love you."

"See you soon," Jason said.

I closed the phone as Dr. Masen sat down and looked up at the waiter with cold eyes. I couldn't think of any reason why he did this.

Sam walked away quickly and I relaxed.

Another waiter came over after a long silence.

"I'm afraid Sam had to leave," the new man said. "I'm Cary and I'll be taking over for him." He noted the fact that we already had drinks and smiled. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes," I said. "Edward?"

Dr. Masen smiled. "Ladies first."

"The basil chicken on angel hair," I said.

"And you?" Cary asked Dr. Masen.

"Sirloin steak," he said.

"Will that be all?" Cary asked. We nodded. "Your food will arrive soon." He walked away, leaving us alone again.

I studied a plant behind Dr. Masen distractedly.

"So…what was that about with our last waiter?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"He…was a little mistaken. He thought _no_ meant _yes_," I said. I didn't like talking about this stuff with strangers.

"And you called someone?" he persisted.

"I called Jason. When I feel…threatened, he pretends to be my fiancée or boyfriend."

"Ah," he said. He seemed relieved and disturbed by something.

"That sounds strange to you, doesn't it?" I asked, blushing.

"I can see how you might want a security blanket," Dr. Masen said.

"I'm just…not interested. It's hard to even try to be interested in anyone," I murmured.

"Even now?" he asked, looking off to the side.

I was surprised by the question.

I thought about it.

"I…" I was confused. I wasn't struggling to find things to talk about and even my touchy subject was open with him. It was very new to feel even the tiniest bit interested. Even in him. I decided to lie. The truth scared me. "Yes. Even now."

"Mmm." He stared at the table. He looked thoroughly upset by that.

I tried to take back what I had said. "Not that you aren't…I'm not saying…Look, it isn't you. I…I just can't," I said, trying not to alienate him as much as I knew I already had. "Edward," I said softly.

He looked up at me, eyes boring into mine. Were his eyes _greener_?

"I still love him. More than anything in the world. I would give anything to have what I had back. I would give up my _life_ to have him back if I thought it would work."

"But you haven't," he noted.

"I _promised_ him I wouldn't do anything stupid," I said. "Or anything that would draw him back to me, in essential. I just want him to be happy. And if it takes me being in pain every day for the rest of my sorry life, I'll do it. Sometimes it doesn't hurt. Like when I'm with the boys. They keep me sane." I sighed and swallowed hard. "I'm done talking about this now. I'm sorry I brought it up again. I don't know what's wrong with me."

But I did.

I felt something for this man in front of me. I wasn't sure what it was just yet, but it was there. It scared me.

We both sat in silence for a moment before the food came and I was in a better mood. I gave up fighting then. I was in love with Edward, but that didn't mean that I couldn't be friends with Dr. Masen.

I noticed something as we talked and exchanged jokes. He wasn't eating. He just sort of rearranged his food while he listened and spoke to me.

We managed to get the details for the painting job hammered out eventually.

When we were done, he paid and I stood, taking his arm again.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" he asked as he helped me into the car.

I knew he meant whether I had enjoyed everything besides my small outburst.

"Yes," I said truthfully.

He smiled. I realized that his smile so rarely reached his eyes, but it did now, and I liked that he was happy.

"We won't do anything so formal next time," he said. "I find this sort of thing nice every once in a while, but I'd rather not make it a habit."

He got in on his side and drove me home. When we reached the house, he helped me to the door and then just inside.

"Goodnight," he said.

"Night," I said in return.

He walked out and I closed the door behind him.

And that's when I realized what he had said.

_Next time_.

I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips. I liked this a little more than I wanted to admit.

**So, their going to be friends...nice.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Alright. This is my most emotional chapter I've written. I hope you like it. I think you will. It answers several questions, although you might have more, too.**

**BPOV**

The boys came after me almost too fast for me to get my shoes all the way off.

"How did it go?" they asked.

"Did you have fun?" Jason asked.

"Yes," I said. "And I think it went well…for a business date." I swallowed hard.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "What's_ that_ supposed to mean? _'For a business date?'"_

"He-Edward…well, he implied that…there would be another date," I said. I still couldn't say his name without cringing slightly in pain.

Jason blinked. "You…I don't understand."

"Maybe you should fill Kris in before we talk about this," I said slowly. "He knows parts, but you know the whole thing now. I need to get ready for bed. I'll be down in a second, okay?"

"S-sure," he said slowly. He looked confused.

"I don't want to go through it again," I said. No need to mention that I'd done it once today.

I hurried up the stairs quickly and to my room. I picked up the shirt I had been using as my nightclothes and my bag of toiletries before making my way to the bathroom. By the time I was done, Kris was fully informed of my unpleasant experience and it was time for me to answer some questions.

"So, you're going out again?" Kris asked.

"She's taking my advice for once," Jason told him. "This is really odd behavior. Even for Bella."

I sighed. "_Thanks_."

"I don't mean it that way, just…you never listen to either of us when it comes to this sort of advice," Jason said apologetically.

"I understand," I said.

"So, are you going to be nice, or are you just doing this to pacify me?" he asked. "I really don't want you to break anyone's heart doing this."

"I…I don't know how to put this. I feel like I know him. Like I can trust him," I told him. "I want to be friends. That's it."

"And he understands this?" Kris asked.

"I think so," I murmured.

"Maybe you'll find out you like him more than that eventually," Jason said. "It happens sometimes."

"That's true," I said. _Just not with me._

"But you don't believe it," Kris murmured, looking at me with a confused frown. "Bella, don't you _want_ someone who will love you and you can love back?"

"Only one someone. And he's not coming back," I whispered. "Ever."_ He promised that. It might be the only unbroken promise he made to me._

"Don't start that again," moaned Jason. "Babe, we love you, but it's just…if he isn't coming back, why not try to find someone else?"

"Because, he is the _only_ man I can love in that way," I said. "The end. No discussion. It's _done_. Too late. I loved_ him_. I still do. I can't be mad at him no matter what I do. Stop telling me to find love because_ I_ don't want _it_ and _it_ doesn't want_ me_." I stared at the floor as I cried.

"Bella…" Jason murmured, reaching out to me.

"No," I whispered painfully. I swallowed hard. "I need to go to bed. It's been a long day."

And so I trudged up the stairs and collapsed on my bed, crying.

_There goes my almost good day_.

**Page break!!!!!!**

The next day, the boys left me alone, not saying a word to me other than an assortment of 'could you pass me that bucket?'. I was working on the designs. That was my specialty.

Then a tall figure was standing next to me that I hadn't noticed before.

I dropped my brush, an image flashing in my mind of someone else who had snuck up on me like that. I regained my composure and picked up the brush.

I was imagining things. This was a totally different Edward. Not the one I had known back in Forks. This one was different.

"Did I startle you?" he asked. He didn't wait for an answer. "I'm sorry; I had a clear schedule for lunch and came home to see the progress. I like the designs you've got here."

My heart fluttered and I wished it would stop that. It wasn't going to happen.

"Um… you have some paint on your cheek," he murmured.

I rubbed it off quickly and when I put my hand down, it brushed one of his.

I shuddered out a breath. His hands were cold. Deathly cold. I frowned at my luck.

Why can't vampires just leave me alone?

I clenched my jaw and grabbed his wrist, dragging him into the hallway, to the kitchen and shoved him into a chair. Pretty bold for me, but then again, I was a little irritated.

I knew the boys wouldn't follow me. They would probably ask later. I'd think of something to say.

"So, when were you going to tell me?" I asked indignantly. I didn't let him say anything. "I'm going to guess that your 'sister' is a vampire too," I whispered. My face was flushed with anger. "Don't _even_ bother denying it. I've had enough of pretenses for a lifetime." I laughed, running a hand through my hair. "What am I? Some sort of vampire _magnet_?"

"Why would you assume something like that?" he asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"Cold skin, you don't eat, I bet you don't have a blemish on your body except maybe some bite marks, the circles beneath your eyes, you're pale white…the list goes on," I told him. "I don't know why I didn't notice before."

"I'm not a vampire, Bella," he said, shaking his head. "Are you feeling okay?"

I looked him in the eyes. Green. He had green eyes.

"You're wearing contacts."

"I can't see without them," he said. "And how would you know that?"

"I-I…you _are_ a vampire."

"Bella, I'm not a vampire. Why are you saying that?" he asked me.

"God! I can't believe this," I said, crying in frustration. "I'm not asking anything of you, but for you to confirm what I already know. I don't want to have this friendship based on pretenses. It's not as if I'm going to tell the boys."

"I'm not-"

"Stop denying it. Was I wrong about how cold your skin was?"

"The hospital is always cold. It's probably from that."

"Right," I muttered. "Fine. I guess I shouldn't have trusted you." I looked him in the eyes. "Thanks. This just proves how little my sanity is worth to anyone." I walked out of the room and started towards the door.

"Don't go."

I turned to face him. "Why?"

"Because I don't want you to leave."

"I quit."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

I held myself up with the wall as support. "What is it then?"

"I…I shouldn't have told you that. I shouldn't have hidden this from you," he said.

"So you are what I thought you were?" I asked through my tears.

"Yes," he whispered, holding my eyes with his. "Now come back."

I stepped back towards him. When I reached him, I fainted. It was too much for me.

_He's a vampire_.

"Bella!"

Cool hands were grasping me, keeping me from falling.

I opened my eyes.

"Are you alright?" Dr. Masen asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," I said. "Um…you can let me go now."

He released his hold on me and I straightened up.

"Okay," I said, sighing. "Sorry about that."

He smiled. "I can't believe _you're_ saying you're sorry to _me_." He checked his watch. "It's just past twelve. Are you hungry?"

"A little," I said.

"Let's see what we've got, then," he said. "I'll tell Kris and Jason to go and eat something." He started to walk away, but turned around momentarily. "Stay here."

"I'm not going anywhere," I told him.

"Good."

He left and then came back after a moment.

"They said to tell you to 'be nice'?" he said, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

"I…let's not talk about that," I said. "Touchy subject."

"Ah." Dr. Masen cleared his throat and led me back into the kitchen. "So, what would you like?"

"I know this is going to sound horrible, but…I'm not very hungry right now. Could I just make a salad?" I asked.

"I can do it for you," he told me, pulling out lettuce, tomatoes, and some cheese. "Would you like some ham on it? My sister bought some yesterday. We're never going to finish it," he said with a grin.

"Sure," I said, glancing around. "Will I get to meet her?"

"Not just yet. She's hardly ever home," he said.

"Oh."

He pulled out the cold ham from the fridge and reached over, picking up two cutting boards. He set the ham on one and reached for two knives.

"So, about you're being a vampire…"

He glanced up from the lettuce he was cutting. "Are you afraid?"

"No, of course not. I'm curious about something. See, the only vampires I've ever know were vegetarians. They didn't drink human blood."

"Well, I don't drink human blood," he said, continuing cutting. "If I did, I wouldn't be able to stay in one place, let alone work in a hospital."

"I wonder if…" I almost couldn't say it. "I should probably mention that his name was Edward before I start to talk about it again."

"What do you wonder, Bella?" Dr. Masen asked.

"I wonder if he's tried his hand at being a physician yet. He had two doctorates in medicine." I was staring at the table. Why could I talk about this here?

"I don't know," he said. "If I were in his place, I would have gone back."

"I wish he had," I told him. "I had to pretend so that I wouldn't be a burden to all the people around me. I still wouldn't date, though."

"So, why do you have the job you have now?" he asked me.

"I wanted a change. I decided it would be good to go for something I could concentrate on a little. It lets me get rid of my restless energy. He left, but tension replaced him. That and more heartache than a normal person might have faced. I've never been normal."

"I don't like normal," Dr. Masen said, he set the salad in front of me.

"Thank you," I said, taking a bite.

"So, is that how you met Jason and Kris?"

"Pretty much. We started to talk and we just sort of clicked as a group. We were just three friends, all different from each other. They're like brothers to me," I told him. "We weren't making enough alone to pay for our bills, so we rented a place together. I guess it looked sort of bad, me living with two guys, but I didn't really care. I'm past caring what people think of me. We never separated after that, even when we started to make enough to buy our own places."

"So, that's how it's been?"

"Yep."

"Do you ever regret it?" he asked, looking serious.

I knew what he was talking about.

"Never. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't regret the pain, either. It means I still remember."

"Mmm."

I sighed. "I only just recently started to feel more whole. I'm not sure why, but…I do."

He nodded, seeming surprised by my answer still.

I finished off the salad and stood up to wash it.

"I've got it," Edward insisted, smiling a little at me.

Wait, when did I switch from Dr. Masen to Edward?

His hand brushed against mine when he picked up the plate and an electric shock coursed through my veins. I froze. Panic bubbled up inside of me.

_Not again. No! Not with another one. Not another Edward._

He ran over to my side and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look into his wide eyes.

"Bella. Breath in and out slowly. Do you feel light headed? Is your vision blurring? Bella!"

I was hyperventilating.

I was terrified.

It took me ten minutes to calm down. I was crying again.

I gave up fighting at that point and let him pull me into his arms.

"It's okay," he whispered. "No one's hurting you."

My heart was ripping slowly in two again. Or maybe into millions of little pieces. I wasn't sure. But it did hurt.

My arms were tucked between us, pressed against his chest. I sobbed into his shoulder and let the tears run freely. There was nothing I could do but let it happen.

I sniffled and gasped.

_No. It can't be._

His scent…No.

I leaned away and stared at him. Closer this time. I hadn't wanted to know.

"Edward," I breathed out. Fresh tears sprang to my eyes and I felt a lump form in my throat.

He stood up and walked across the room to the sink. He picked up the spray nozzle and turned on the water, leaning down. He sprayed the hot water onto his hair and the water ran down like a brown tinged waterfall. I saw him reach up and take out the contacts that he was wearing as the water started to run clear again. He turned off the water, picking up the cup towel that was beside him and dried his hair off.

He turned to me, anguish evident in his golden eyes. His bronze hair was sticking out in all directions. There was no mistaking it this time. _Edward._

"No," I whimpered, shuddering as I sucked in a breath. "Not again."

"Bella…"

I saw his lower lip quiver and knew I hadn't been lying. I could never be angry with him. My head spun.

"Don't do this again," I begged. "Can't you see I'm dead enough already? My heart is yours, aren't you happy with that? Wasn't that your goal? Take it and run away?"

"No," he whispered, eyes glazed a little, like he would have been crying if he could.

I only wanted one thing right then.

I ran to him and threw my arms around him, squeezing him tightly, taking in everything about him. I tilted my head up to him and pulled him down to kiss him forcefully.

His lips met mine with a ferocity I had never felt him use before. Different from the times before and yet the same. I broke away, gasping for air.

"Bella, I have to tell you something," Edward said, eyes burning into me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"What I said that day…it was a lie. I want you. I always have. I love you," he whispered.

I shook my head. "Don't say that if it isn't true."

"Bella, vampires don't fall in love like…like humans do. I will _never_ stop loving you, so don't tell me not to," he said. His lower lip started to quiver again. "_Please_ don't tell me not to." His sentence ended in a tortured whisper.

"I won't," I whispered, stroking his cheek gently, trying to comfort him. "And, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."

He kissed me again then and I pressed my body to his, needing the contact with him that I had not had for so very long.

"_Ahem_."

My eyes opened and Edward looked up as I glanced over my shoulder to see Jason and Kris directly behind him. Jason had a single eyebrow raised.

"Don't tell me," he said, holding up a finger. "He is giving you a physical. Am I right?" He was grinning now.

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing and felt Edward's laugh reverberate in his chest. Comic relief was Jason's specialty.

"Told you," Jason told Kris.

"Bella's never…she's never kissed anyone like that before, though," Kris said, bewildered but happy.

"Bella's never _wanted_ to kiss anyone like this before," I cut in.

"Stay out of this, Bella," Jason said.

"But…"

"No."

They walked away and left us alone again.

"Well, fine then," I said, turning back to Edward. "Should we tell them?"

"Later," he said, smiling and eyeing my lips. "I'm busy right now."

He leaned back down to meet my lips with his and I decided to worry about the unresolved problems later. He was here now, and I would take whatever I could get while he would stay with me.

**Tell me what you thought. I thought it needed the comic relief, how about you?**


	9. Chapter 9

**I think this one is sort of strange, but...I like it! I hope I'm not boring anyone to death with this, but it has to be written, since I don't think that they would just drop it.**

**And by the way, I've decided I most likely won't have a lemon in this, but there is still a chance, so don't get disgusted if the rating changes, okay?**

**My fingers are frozen now, since dad's office is cold, so I'm going to stop writing this AN.**

**BPOV**

I pressed myself into him, feeling Edward's arms tighten around me. My fingers gripped his damp hair frantically his lips moved in sync with mine.

I broke away. "Oh."

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"I…I need to go and finish up the designs I was working on. The boys will be furious if I don't finish in time," I explained.

He looked at his watch. "I should call in and tell them I can't make it back."

"Oh?" I asked.

His fingers brushed a stray strand of hair out of my face.

"Bella, we need to talk," he said. "Could you take the rest of the day off? Would they mind?"

"I don't think so," I said thoughtfully. "It would be a first."

"Good. I'll meet you upstairs," he said and walked off.

I blinked and made my way to the living room, blushing.

"Um…guys, I'm going to take the rest of the day off, okay?" I asked hesitantly.

"Sure, Bella," Kris said. He seemed to sense something was up with me besides being kissed by the man we were working for.

"I don't mind," Jason agreed.

"Thanks guys," I said, sighing. I ran over and hugged them both, giving each a kiss on the cheek. "We'll explain later, I promise." I ran straight out of the room and towards the stairs.

"Um…_we_?" I heard Jason asked Kris a few seconds later.

I ran up the stairs, tripping multiple times until I finally slowed down a little. He was going to be there. He would be there for me, waiting. He wasn't gone yet.

Sure enough, when I reached the top of the stairs, Edward took me into his arms and ran the rest of the way up. I had all but forgotten his running ability. He set me down and opened the door to a large room. A king sized bed was against the wall, under a window in here. The walls were bare of anything but CDs. CDs and books. I saw a closet door off to one side. The carpet was black and looked soft, the walls a shade of dark blue.

The door closed behind me and I turned to see Edward hesitate.

"Can we talk about…what happened?" he asked, looking me in the eyes. "I realize that I shouldn't have lied or ran away no matter how much I thought it would be in your best interests, but…there's more to this, isn't there?"

I looked away from him, down at the carpet, and he sighed.

"I thought there would be," he said sadly. "Have a seat."

I walked over and took a seat on the bed and he crossed the room and did the same.

"Tell me," he commanded gently. "I have to know what's going through your mind."

"I…Edward, when you left me…my world fell to pieces. I was nothing," I whispered, looking at my hands which I had twined on top of my lap. "The only thing that kept me together was the fact that I would hurt Charlie and then I would be a burden to everyone else. I couldn't do that to them. It would have been wrong to do. All of the pain was just bottled up in me. I felt like my heart had been pried out of my chest. Nothing was there. It was just a big, gaping hole in me I couldn't fill. Then I met Jason and Kris."

I looked up at Edward. His eyes watched my every move, taking me in. He looked like he was in pain.

"And they helped?" he prompted when I didn't start to talk again.

"Yes. They are the reason that I'm still sane. I love them both a lot," I whispered. "I don't know what I would have done without them sometimes. They didn't even know why I cried myself to sleep at night. Kris asked me once and I told him a partial part of what had happened. I only just told Jason almost the entire story a couple of nights ago. Then Kris found out the rest last night."

"So…what happened earlier?" he asked.

"When?" I asked.

"You started to hyperventilate and I was scared out of my wits," he said.

"I…When you touched me, I felt a sort of shock and…it was exactly like that time we watched the movie in Biology. It was the same…" I cleared my throat. "I thought it was happening again. That I was going to fall for someone and they would just…leave. I was terrified. And then when you tried to calm me, I had slowly made up my mind that…I would let it happen. But…I…when I stopped fighting and you pulled me into your arms…I recognized your scent."

"My scent?" he asked.

"It was better than I had remembered it, but…I _knew _it," I told him. "And I couldn't believe that it was happening again. I had been shutting it out the entire time."

"And after that?" Edward murmured.

"When you…when you showed yourself the way I remembered…I was afraid you would leave me all over again. That you were there to take what you could and run," I said. "But when I voiced my thoughts…your guard fell and…I couldn't…"

"Don't tell me about it. I don't want you to be hurt anymore," he whispered. "I'm won't leave. I promise."

"You said that last time," I reminded him softly. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I can keep this promise. I'm not leaving," he said. "If you ask me to, I still don't think I could do it. I'm more attached now than I was then."

"I don't want to talk anymore," I told him quietly.

"Neither do I," Edward whispered.

I felt him run his hand over my jaw and neck gently and looked up at him. My heart raced as he lowered his lips to mine. My arms locked instinctively around his neck and I felt him smile slightly as he sucked on my lower lip.

I found myself being placed in his lap carefully. He tilted his head up a little as I kissed his neck. I kissed his lips again with pure need.

Edward stopped the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine.

"So…I think we should stop this before we go too far," he said. "Alice is coming in a little while and she's been dying to see you again."

And she walked through the door right then and pulled me into a tight hug, shrieking in delight.

"Bella!" she said excitedly. "God, I missed you so much. How are you? You look awesome. I swear you haven't changed at all."

"Alice…can't…breath!"

"Oh, right!"

She released me quickly and I gasped for air, rubbing my side.

"Alice," Edward greeted.

"You look happier," Alice observed, looking him over.

"I have Bella," he murmured.

I sat back down in his lap and felt his arms snake around my waist.

"So, how are you, Alice?" I asked.

"I'm good…Jasper's here," she told us.

"Why didn't he come up?" I asked.

"I…he wasn't sure if you would approve of him being here…around you," she said.

"I missed him, too," I murmured.

Jasper came into the room at that moment and looked at me hesitantly, then over my shoulder.

"Why aren't you angry at me? Aren't you even scared?" he asked, confused.

"No. I'm not angry. You couldn't help it. And I'm not scared, either," I told him. "I'm not normal, remember?"

He laughed warily. "Yeah, I remember."

Alice smiled at me and giggled.

"I think I've disrupted your time together enough for now, so…I'll just be going," she said. She started out the door, taking Jasper's arm. "Come on, Jazz."

They left and I turned back to Edward, grabbing his shirtfront and pulling him down to kiss him again.

Edward turned and laid me on the bed, hovering above me, arms braced on either side of my head. The kiss never broke.

My lips parted slightly and I felt him gently taste my lower lip before meeting my tongue with his in my mouth. After a moment, I broke away to breath.

"That's…different," I observed, gasping for air.

"I know. I'm sorry," he said apologetically. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No, no, it's perfectly fine," I said quickly. "I liked it a lot."

"Still controlled by your hormones," he muttered playfully.

"Only with you," I said seriously, tugging him so that I could feel his body on mine. "No space, Edward. I need this."

He rolled so that I was on top. "Better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

And we just laid there like that for an hour or so. It was all I needed. Every once in a while he would ask me a question and I would give him the simple answer and we would return to our comfortable silence. I think I fell asleep after a while like that.

When I woke up, I found myself still in the same position as I had been in earlier.

"You're awake," Edward whispered. It sounded like a question.

"Mmm-hmm. Did I talk in my sleep?" I asked self-consciously.

"A little," he murmured.

"What did I say?"

"I heard some little pieces like 'love you', 'don't leave', and my name several times," he said slowly.

"Well, I think we've been up here long enough for the boys to assume some things…maybe we should go downstairs," I said.

He laughed. "They didn't assume anything."

"I guess they wouldn't," I mumbled. "Jason and Kris know me well enough that they know that doesn't ever happen."

"What's the matter?" Edward whispered, lifting my chin so that he could look me in the eyes.

"You still don't want to change me," I said quietly. "I know you don't."

"Bella, that's not it," he said. "I'm not letting you go. Even if you _choose_ to stay human, I'm staying. Can't we take some time before we begin this again?"

"How much time?" I asked.

"You won't agree with a year," he said. "So, it will have to be three months."

"I can live with that."

"Exactly."

I felt tears forming in my eyes and looked away from him. "You don't want me to be like you. Admit it. You really don't want me."

I felt him sigh heavily beneath me and rolled off of him. He rolled on top of me.

"Get off," I said.

"No," he said, looking me in the eyes. "Bella, I don't want you to be disappointed with this life…with what I am. You're asking me to give you something that would be cruel of me to allow."

"It wouldn't be cruel. I would be able to be with you forever. The rest doesn't matter. I can learn," I insisted.

Edward hesitated.

"I want to be with you, Edward. Forever."

His eyes held mine, warm and loving. He didn't talk for a while.

"Bella. Give it three months. I'll change you if you think it will make you happy," he whispered. "I'll do anything for you."

The words he was speaking surprised me.

"It's only a little while," he murmured. "Just…please. For my peace of mind."

"Okay."

"Thank you," he said, burying his long fingers in my hair.

He kissed me again and I felt my eyelids flutter closed as he deepened it. I lost control and crushed myself into him when he rolled onto his side, keeping our lips locked together. I could go on like this forever.

I felt him smile before breaking the kiss.

"Breathe, Bella," he whispered against my ear.

I took a breath of air and blushed. My heart was beating erratically, my body demanding full contact with his. I was the one to kiss him this time.

He complied and grasped my waist, pulling me tighter against him roughly, but still gently enough not to hurt me.

"Edward," I whispered.

"Yes, love?" he murmured, his lips pressed to my neck.

"I need to go home," I told him. "I'm going to have to get cleaned up if I'm taking the day off. I smell like paint."

"I'll take you," he said.

"That would be nice," I said.

He helped me up off of the bed and I ran my fingers through my hair, which was probably a mess by now.

"Do I look okay? Well, besides being in painting clothes," I asked.

"You look perfect," he said. "You're beautiful."

"Will the boys notice I've been rolling around on a bed?" I asked, clarifying the question, blushing deeply.

"No, I don't think so."

"Okay, good."

"Let's go, then," Edward said, taking my hand and leading me out the door and then down the stairs.

As we passed the doorway to the living room, Jason called me.

"Yes, Jason?" I asked, stepping back so that I could see him.

"I'm going to sign you up for dancing lessons," he teased. "Hope you don't mind."

"Ha, ha. Very cute of you, Jason. I will rip your head off if you do it."

Edward, who was leaning against the wall just in front of me, pursed his lips in an attempt not to laugh. Needless to say, he ended up snorting anyway.

"Funny, you tried that once," Jason said, grinning. "Didn't work out so well."

"I'm willing to improvise. I can use a dull knife. Or even better, a dull spoon. Or I could use a needle and poke you until your neck is severed," I sighed thoughtfully. He didn't react, just raised an eyebrow. I grinned at him evilly. "Or I could just knock you out, strip you bare, hang you upside down in a tree, and wait for the women to arrive with cameras and some other unmentionables."

"Now I _am_ scared," Jason said, backing up a little.

"You should be," I said. "I'm lethal."

Edward was shaking with silent laughter, had he been human, his face would have been completely red by now with all of the laughing. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought that he was going into hysterics.

I shot a dirty look in his direction and looked at Jason.

"Don't mess with me, y-"

Jason cut me off. "'Don't mess with you, I know better.' I know, I know. But saying that isn't going to stop me."

"You aren't going to wake up in the morning."

"I won't go to sleep."

"Stalkers are going to be called up, Jason."

"I…No lessons. Lethal is an understatement. You make the devil look like a newborn kitten when you get like this," Jason told me, holding his hands up in surrender. "And I was _kidding_."

I smiled sweetly at him and started walking to the door again. Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I felt the vibrations of his laughter.

"Are you laughing at me?" I asked Edward as we walked to his car.

He shook his head. "I'm laughing at Jason. He was absolutely terrified of you for a few seconds." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes and got into the passenger side of his Volvo.

**XxxxxxxxxxxxX**

Edward parked a block away from the house since our driveway was taken up by our car and he didn't want to block the van. I started to get out, but Edward walked around to my side before I could do it all on my own.

"Thank you," I said, taking his hand.

"You're welcome," he murmured.

We walked the rest of the way home. When we reached the house, we walked up to the door and I pulled out my key to open the door. I led him inside and up the stairs to my room and he sat down on my bed.

"I'm sorry that it's such a mess in here. I don't ever have…guests over," I told him. "At least not the kind who would come to my room with me. Not that the boys would let anyone up here without my say."

I gathered up my things and turned back to him.

"Stay right there. Don't even _think_ about moving," I told him. I sounded more confident than I felt. Inside I was praying he wouldn't go for my sake.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said. He crossed his legs, sitting Indian style on the bed. He stopped moving and was still as a statue in the way only he could manage.

I smiled and ran off to clean up quickly.

I showered, dried off, and got dressed in record time, even with all of the tripping. I combed through my wet hair and went back to my room barefoot, carrying my shoes in one hand and my bag of toiletries in the other.

Edward hadn't moved an inch from where he had been.

"You can move now," I told him when I had set my things down and walked up to stand in front of him.

Edward gave me a breathtaking smile as he stood and looked into my eyes.

"What would you like to do?" he asked. He played with a damp strand of hair as he waited for my answer.

"Do you want to watch a movie," I asked.

"Whatever you want, Bella," he said.

"Um…I'd rather just stay up here and talk, if that's okay," I told him.

"It's fine with me," he said. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to know what happened to _you_…when you left," I said slowly.

Pain crossed his features as he looked down at me.

"Never mind. You don't have to if you don't want to," I said quickly.

"No, it's okay, Bella. I should tell you," he said. He took a deep breath and sat back down. He pulled me into his lap securely and held me against his body, his chin resting on top of my head. "I was lost. It was like having the sun ripped from the sky and going into what seemed to be a permanent darkness. I didn't hunt, I couldn't get the image of you out of my head. I couldn't stop thinking about the last words I had said to you. The way you had just accepted what I had said as though it was more believable than the truth. The pain I caused you echoed in my mind everywhere I went, stabbing me. I wanted to go back and beg you to forgive me. Or at least let me stay. But seeing you so happy when I came back…I couldn't take that from you." He shuddered, holding me a little tighter. "Did you ever find the pictures?"

"The…pictures?" I asked.

"Do you remember the pictures from our prom night and the ones you took of me and the one that Charlie took of us?" he asked. "And the tickets and your lullaby CD?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"I…I didn't take them from you. I left them under the loose floorboard in your bedroom. I guess I had secretly hoped that you would find them…" Edward drew in a breath. "That way even if you didn't find them, they would still be there with you."

Tears ran down my cheeks for the second time that day.

"I love you," he told me. He smiled into my hair. "I missed saying that to you." He kissed the top of my head. "I love you, Bella."

He lay back on the bed I turned over on top of him to look him in the face. "I love you, too, Edward."

He wiped away my tears gently. "I don't want you to cry. I want-"

"What do you want?" I whispered.

"This," he whispered, his hand placed behind my head, pulling me down. Edward kissed me a long time and I felt my body shape around his, my legs curling around his. His arms were around my waist, holding me tightly against his body. My hands wandered his chest, tugging at the buttons of his shirt, touching his smooth bare skin. I kissed his neck and he sighed.

"Stop," Edward whispered. "We aren't going to do this…so…early on…" He slowed down and stopped, listening to something for a moment.

I heard the door open and close downstairs and jumped.

"They're here," I said.

"And curious," Edward said.

"They're coming up, aren't they?" I asked him.

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Great," I said, already blushing.

He chuckled. "Would you like me to hide?"

"No," I squeaked.

"Then calm down. They aren't sure that you're in the middle of anything since you've never really been one for that sort of thing…but they also know I'm up here. That worries them a little. I confess, that does make me just a little nervous," Edward admitted. "They're like your brothers. If they don't like me, I don't know what I'm going to do the next few months."

"Alright, just…Just be…" I giggled, "Just act like yourself, Edward. They'll like you."

"Mmm."

"Should I not be in this position?" I asked.

"They're like your brothers. Probably not," he said. "But stay anyway."

"Oh, this reminds me. How's Emmett?" I asked him.

"He misses his clumsy baby sister."

"Oh, gee thanks."

"That was in his own words."

"I'm going to guess Rosalie could care less."

"Not really. She was actually getting tired of my moping around aimlessly. She's why I'm here now."

"I'll have to thank her for that."

"They're right outside the door," Edward whispered.

The door opened and Jason and Kris crossed their arms across their chests.

"Enjoying yourselves?" Jason asked, not smiling.

_Oh, crap…_

**Cliff hanger. *laughs evilly* my way of staying amused. By the way, that little button that says review on it? click it please? I like feedback. You know that by now. I _need_ to hear what you think about this...I meant read, not hear. Sorry. Anyway's, pretty please?**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm so sorry for the cliff hanger, guys. I couldn't help it. You need some excitement in your lives. I didn't have any time for computer stuff since I was working on school, but I've finally got the time, so I'm writing as much as I can for each story. I can't make any promises on when I'll get things in. I've gotten finished with the first book in the series I'm writing, so I've been pretty excited about that. Anyway, here's the next chapter…**

"_Enjoying yourselves?" Jason asked, not smiling._

_Oh, crap._

I sat up and got off of the bed.

"Hi, guys," I said. I struggled to force words to come out of my mouth. "I was…I was just…"

"What's gotten into you?" Jason asked.

"Um…Guys…" I looked down at Edward, who nodded once encouragingly. "This is Edward-"

"We know who he is, babe," Jason said.

"No. No, you don't," I said. "As I was saying, this is Edward, but…he's not who you think he is exactly." I took a deep breath and sighed. "I've told you about my…problems, Jason. And, Kris, you heard from Jason." I bit my lip, looking up at them again. "This is the man who left me three years ago. Edward Cullen."

Edward's lips twitched on the side that the boys couldn't see.

"Well, yeah, we gathered that much," Kris said. "But still, the fact that you're…acting this way with anyone…especially _him_. You always seemed so…innocent."

"She's not exactly a little girl, Kris," Jason said. "Still just almost as innocent, though. Look at that blush."

I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Babe, I'm not trying to be the horrible older brother right now. That blush _is_ adorable, though," he told me.

"We just…we don't understand what's going on right now, okay?" Kris said. "Because one minute you're crying, the next you're laughing or smiling, and not the fake oh-yeah-I-don't-really-care-but-whatever smile you gave everyone aside from us before now. If we said anything wrong in the past week, you'd get upset…it's unnerving."

"Um…I think we should move this downstairs," Jason said, glancing at Edward. "If you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind," Edward said. He looked a little destroyed. Sad, rather than the smiling man I had been looking at only a few seconds ago.

"I'll be right back, Edward," I said. "Stay here."

I stood up and grabbed Jason's arm, then Kris's and yanked them out the door, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"So, what's the problem?" I asked. "I want to give him another chance…if you can call it that. It's so much more than just that."

"Exactly," Jason said. "Bella, we might be crazy people, but that doesn't mean we don't know you. You've given him your heart already…we don't want to see you hurt again. Especially now that it may be so much worse than before. It kills us to see you in so much pain."

"I thought men didn't have that sort of _emotional capacity_," I said, glaring at him.

Jason flushed. "If we don't, then your Edward must be one gay son of a-"

"Stop right there," I said. "He's not gay. I swear to God if you ever suggest it again, I'll-"

"No. We won't, because we just made our point," Kris said, raising his eyebrows as if he were daring me to say otherwise.

I'd seen the boys like this before. They had talked sense into me before, but…this was different. I wanted to protect Edward, to tell them not to go any farther, to forget he was the same person who had broken my heart, but I couldn't do that, because what they were saying made sense for anyone…aside from Edward and me.

"Okay," I said, sitting. "Give me whatever speech it is you need to give. I won't stop you unless you get too subjective."

Jason nodded once and sat down in a chair, motioning for both of Kris and me to do the same.

"Understand that this has nothing to do with anything new. We don't want to see you hurt _or_ Edward. I know that you have a hard time staying with one person for very long. We are here for his needs as a person as well, but you are family. We haven't established his permanence as a member of this family just yet. We may discuss that another time, maybe tonight. That depends on whether or not we're impressed with his behavior towards you and how many times he may ask to…be with you. Was he insistent when you met him in high school?"

"No. He didn't think it was right. He wants to wait until marriage to do that," I said uncomfortably.

"That's…good, I suppose. Most teenage boys are much more insistent about sex," Kris said.

"I wouldn't have minded if he had wanted to," I whispered, staring at the floor.

"Babe, we are_ past_ this, we get it, you loved him, he could do no wrong," Jason muttered, hitting his fist against the fridge. "The bastard had you where he wanted you."

"HEY!" I shouted, standing up abruptly. "You can say what you want about me and what I did and how gullible I was but don't you _ever_ say a word against him again. Do you hear me? Did you understand that? Was I clear enough for you? WELL?!"

"Did I ever tell you about what I was studying before I decided on trade school?" Jason asked calmly.

I turned my head to the side slightly, telling him he hadn't. I knew he was still studying some nights as a mechanic, though Kris and I had given up on that and stuck to painting instead.

"Well I studied psychology. And you learn a few things about the human mentality in those classes. I only want to protect you from going over. We love you. We don't want to see you…damaged."

"What are you saying? Do you think I'm an idiot? That I can't…wait. Why am I arguing?" I shook my head and sat down, shoulders falling. "You're right."

A tear ran down my cheek. Jason closed his eyes and leaned against the fridge.

"I'm sorry Bella…"

"D-don't be," I whispered. "I need to go…I…I can't be here right now. I'll be back eventually so don't bother worrying about me. Tell Edward to go home."

I wanted to throw up, but instead of running for the bathroom, I walked out of the room and grabbed my keys. I ran out of the house, into the garage, slamming the door behind myself. I got in my , not the van. I hardly ever used my car since I worked so hard to stay away from anything fun…or anything that would remind me of him…of Edward. I opened the garage and left, probably speeding.

I was going out of town. I knew that much. After that I was blank. I didn't know where the road would take me this time…

**XxxxxxxxxxxxX**

I got out of my jet-black sports car and stared up at the raining sky, seeming to cry with me as I leaned against my door. I looked around at the tall grass and ferns before me and then at the house that was hidden in behind the trees.

It had been a long time since I'd seen that house. Since I'd walked through its rooms. Since I'd lain on the couch upstairs. Since I had fallen in love with the family that had left me.

I walked down the path to the front door and opened the door, not hesitating. I was tired of this. Of losing everything. I wanted it to stop. I walked in and ran, tripping, up the stairs. Nothing was missing. The piano was there and everything was covered with sheets. When I reached Edward's room…I stopped. I didn't go in for a few seconds. Then I opened the door and walked in. I took the sheets off of everything and then lay down on the couch.

I lost my fight to stay in reality and fainted. I knew I wouldn't wake up for a long time…but I couldn't pull out of it. And so I gave in for once instead of letting it nauseate me.

I woke up eventually…it was still light outside…though not very. I looked around at the room and sighed.

I could remember everything as though it were yesterday. Sitting on the couch with Edward, reading one of my favorite books while he played with my hair. Listening to different variations of music and laughing when I managed to confuse Edward with my random thoughts…Being the same age.

Edward was still a teenager. I was twenty-one. Not a lot of difference but it was unnerving to know that he and I were now separated by that little gap. Maybe he didn't want me after all. Maybe he was thinking of all of the things we did and wished he never met me. I hoped not.

I curled myself into a ball and stared at the carpet.

Nothing was ever going to go right for me even though I wished so badly that things would work out. The fates were against me, no doubt.

I felt myself start to cry again and wondered if I would be able to stop again…if I could manage to hide from the world, just for a little while so I could get some rest.

I wondered if Edward had moved on at all. How could I be sure he hadn't found someone new...someone better?

And I saw the slightest movement to my right and looked out the corner of my eye.

I sighed. Not him.

"Hi, Alice…Jasper," I murmured, wiping my tears away.

"Do you have any idea how long it took us to find you?" Alice asked.

"Not long," I guessed.

"Wrong," she said. "It took us 3 whole hours to find out because you didn't make up your mind. At all. Like you didn't think at all. It was like…staring at the road for too long. In fact that's exactly what it was. And by the way I have a few things to say about your disregard of safety when it comes to your new style of driving."

"I didn't know where I was going either so just calm down and shut up. Please?" I didn't want to sound rude, but I didn't know how to say what I should. "I have a migraine."

"Oh…sorry, Bella," Alice said.

"Bella…I know I may be one of the last people you want to hear from but what happened?" Jasper asked suddenly. "You were so happy…and in love earlier…and now it seems like all the colors have been washed away from your emotions. So sad. Why the change?"

"I'm not comfortable with talking to anyone right now…I…I'll explain later if I can think of the words," I told them. "I need to be alone. I really do. Please?"

"We aren't going to be far," Alice said unwillingly and moved towards the window. "But I'll be watching you."

"Fine," I muttered. "Just…please go now. For a little while."

I got up and started towards the door but stopped dead when I saw one of the two copies of our prom pictures Edward had received. Without warning I fell into a crying, shuddering mess on the floor. I couldn't stand the idea of him leaving again…I felt arms encircle me and I looked up expecting to see Alice's worried face but instead I was looking into the eyes of her other half.

Jasper pulled me into a gentle hug and Alice observed with only a slight look of confusion on her face.

"Bella, it's alright. Everything is going to be okay," Jasper said soothingly. I could feel an almost warm sensation evading my body. Calmness. Safety. "Listen to me, Bella. Do you remember the day I attacked you?"

I nodded slowly and relaxed my shoulders.

"Edward was willing to do anything to save you. He put himself in front of you, knowing I may rip him apart to get to you. The look on his face would have surprised me had I been in any other state of mind…I felt such a strong wave of determination and love for you from him I almost fell back but I couldn't stop myself. I wasn't behaving as myself."

I relaxed farther and nodded again. I couldn't be annoyed with his calm soothing tone…

"Alright, Jasper, stop now please," Alice said. "She's going to be okay…she believes you…"

I was falling asleep.

"Good," Jasper said, Picking me up. "Now, Bella, go to sleep for a little while okay? You need to rest for a bit. You'll feel much better tomorrow, I promise."

And he laid me on the couch again and Alice stood beside him.

"Sweet dreams, Bella," Alice murmured.

I fell asleep then without a word. I surrendered for a while longer.

**XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX**

I woke up and sat bolt upright on the couch, nearly falling off and landing face first in the carpet. I steadied myself and turned over and lay on my stomach. Jasper had done one hell of a job knocking me out like that. I felt so calm it would have been unnerving if I hadn't been sedated by him.

I groaned and got up for a second to search for my phone. I pulled it out of my right pocket and plopped down on the bed and slid it open. Nine-oh-clock. It had been approximately an hour since I had found myself standing in front of the Cullen's home. I prayed Alice had said nothing to Edward. Even if I decided to trust him a little more now I couldn't give him my complete trust until I was changed into a vampire.

I stood up and walked out the door and down the stairs. I walked out the door and got into my car and drove into the garage. May as well hide a little better. I turned on my radio and turned it off again as soon as I recognized the song. Halo by Beyonce. I let out an animalistic cry and fell over the seat, crying into the leather seat. Alice ran into the garage and opened the door.

"B-Bella," she stuttered, surprising me. She never stuttered.

"How does it feel to know Jasper will never leave you?" I asked softly.

"I…" she stared at me looking as if she wished she could be crying with me.

"Alice, I need to know…I can't remember that feeling," I said, my throat closing up.

"Like nothing can go wrong. Like I can take on anything. Like I never have to be alone…Like I'm important and beautiful," she said.

I laughed with a hiccup. "Alice you are beautiful."

"So are you, Bella," she said and wiped the tears from my face. "And Edward needs you as much as you need him. You can't deny you haven't felt alone, even though you may not show it or notice at times…life isn't right without him, is it?"

"No…but…I want to know he won't leave again," I said.

"He won't," she promised.

Alice reached over and turned on the radio and then switched it to the CD player. She put in a CD and the first song was the one I had turned the radio off so quickly to avoid.

I closed my eyes and felt fresh tears fall down my face.

"Thank you, Alice," I said.

"No problem, Bella," she said. "I think Jasper and I are going to leave now…I trust you can handle staying in the house alone…we stocked up on food so that you won't starve to death."

"Um. Okay…Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome," Alice told me.

"I'll see you soon," I said.

"Bye," she murmured and then left.

I listened to the rest of the CD and then went inside, realizing that I was starving.

After I ate, I went back to Edward's room and curled up on the couch. I couldn't sleep. And then I heard a door downstairs close. It wasn't a big noise…but more like someone trying not to make much noise…like they knew someone was here…

**I know it isn't that much, but I tried…I'm sorry I haven't posted much at all but my mind has been elsewhere so I can't really help it. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did…I promise I'm working on more for this story. Sorry about the cliffy but I can't think anymore tonight.**


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